One Thing You Should Do Before Getting Married. Marriage is a wonderful thing. But just like every wonderful and powerful thing in the world, marriage can make you live in heaven or hell, depending on whether you get it right or wrong. There are so many books out there about marriage but that doesn’t reduce our divorce rate, unfortunately. Hopefully, this Article will help a few people to get their union right as I’ll be sharing with you what I believe is the first thing you should do before you get married. If you’re new here, consider subscribing so that you won’t miss other interesting articles like this.
Now take a moment to think about it, why do we have so much trouble in our relationships with others, especially in marriage? In my opinion, I think it’s primarily because we don’t love our self enough before we demand that other people should love us. In my opinion, the very first thing you should do before getting married is to love yourself.
As little as this sounds, it can be the beginning and the end of troubles in a marital union. You think about it. Why do we demand so much attention from our partners? Why do we complain that they don’t appreciate our look or efforts? Why do we want them to worship us? Why do we cheat? Why do we fight? At the route of all these is an important problem we hardly confront which is the lack of self-love.
First, when people don’t love themselves, they demand too much of love from others as they want other people to fill up the big hole in their hearts and because we’re humans, we are not capable of giving much of anything, including love. Nobody can give you all of the love you need to be happy and the only way to deal with this to have a good self-image that makes you happy with yourself. If two partners are happy with themselves; the little love they give each other will be enough to make them happy.
Don’t get me wrong. We all need some external validation and love but the more of it we need; the less happiness we’ll have because nobody is capable to give us all the love and validation we need. You must give yourself a good dose of it so that the little others give you will make you happy.
2. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself.
I have two parents. Off course that’s not news as everyone has two parents. What’s newsworthy is that my mother loves herself so much while my father (unknowingly to him) really don’t like himself that much. Guess who is happier?
You know it. It’s my mom. But not just that. Guess who loves the most? You also know that. It’s my mom. My mom is the definition of love. She loves. She loves. She loves her husband, children, and even strangers. There’s this Latin statement that goes like, “Nemo dat quod non-habet” which simply means, “You can’t give what you don’t have”. Stop trying to get love if you don’t love yourself because if you’re trying to find love when you don’t really love yourself, you may get a temporary love but you won’t be able to keep it. The reason why you won’t be able to keep love is because love is reciprocal. Except you’re planning to marry an angel, whoever you want to marry will want you to love him/her in return. If you’re not capable of doing this, you can’t keep anyone. To get love, you must know how to give love. To be able to give love, you must love yourself first.
3. When people don’t love themselves they become selfish.
People who love themselves can sacrifice their ego and conveniences for others because they already have a good self-image and coming low for others really doesn’t make them feel too weak. If there’s a good definition of love, then it should be selflessness. If there anyone who truly loves someone be sure he/she first loves him/herself. If there’s anyone who loves herself, be sure he will be able to make sacrifices for others. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t bury your ego or make sacrifices for others. How then can you live in a marital union with someone else?
4. When people don’t love themselves, they cheat others.
A quick background check on people who end up becoming evil are usually people who lack love in their early childhood years. Because these people lack love, they don’t love themselves either and because they don’t love themselves, they don’t find it difficult to hurt other people. While most people would think that it takes courage to go around and sleep with everybody, it’s actually a result of low self-esteem which originated from lack of self-love.
5. People who don’t love themselves have unhealthy jealousy.
While some dose of jealousy is good in a relationship, unhealthy jealousy isn’t. But because many people don’t love themselves, they want to do all they can to do what they cannot. What you can’t do is to monitor every step of another adult, keep them from cheating or keep them from leaving you. If they want to do any of these, you can’t stop them from doing it. But because most people don’t love their own self, they are not secure. Because they are not secure, they think if someone leaves them they will perish. No. you won’t. But you need to love yourself to really believe that you won’t perish if anyone leaves you. Now that you know that you have to love yourself before you can have a great marriage, how do you know if you love yourself?
Very simple; how much of happiness do you derive from other people’s opinions and validations? If you derive more than 50% of your happiness from what others say or think of you, if you do most things to get people to say nice thing about you, if you’re not happy being alone, if your life is centered around people’s good comments on social media, if you often think that what you wear or the materials you use will make you a better or happier person, you might want to check yourself.
The conclusion of the whole matter is this; life can be a better place if two people who marry each other have self-love. If I love myself and you love yourself, we can both give love to each other.
If I don’t love myself, and you don’t love yourself, we cannot give true love. If we both have self-love, we can both make sacrifices for each other and every other person that comes our way. If we both have self-love, we can expect little from one another and since no human being is capable of giving much of anything, the little you give me will make me happy while the little I give you will make you happy. If you love to have a great marriage, love yourself and marry someone who loves him/herself Thank you very much for reading this article.
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